Numbness

I dont know why I am enjoying my own company like never before. I dont like meeting new people. I have started keeping more quiet. Is this depression??? No..i dont think so. Infact I am happy with my life. I have got everything that one can ask for: career,family,friends and what not.
I have started becoming neutral towards most of the things . Rather than hating things or people that annoy me, I have started ignoring them. They dont bother me as much as they used to.I am not getting ecstatic so easily. I feel as if I am in a continuous trance with myself. Whats this numbness all about? Am I turning into a saint? Hell no.
Am I wasting my precious moments of life? Who cares?
When I am alone, I dont think much about the future or past or even present. Half of the time my brain is dead and the other half I get all the random thoughts in the world. Thoughts like "What if I die the next minute? "What if I could travel through time?"Whats in the mind of that dog who is looking at me ?"
Damn..thats so weird.
Am I turning insane? Well none of my friends are telling me this. I am pretty sure thay are going to point out any abnormality if they notice it.
Or I was always like this? Thats why they are not noticing anything.
But I know I am not the way I used to be.
What the hell? Again I am thinking so weird.
Maybe I am on my way to Nirvana. That sounds good. I accept that.

Bullet in my Head

Bullet is not a motorcycle for me. It is a passion. It is my attitude.
I am in love with the beast since my childhood days. Most of my early life was spent in or around the Army Cantonment areas and the sight of those Army Bullets...frankly better than the sight of the most beautiful ladies.
I got a chance to ride a bullet when I was in class 12 and I can still remember the goosebumps that I got. That macho feeling; that pride; that freedom and the oneness of my heartbeat with the thump of the beast.
I could not afford to buy a bullet then and only when I started earning I could lay my hands on the machine. The year was 2004 when I proudly joined the cult. I bought a STD 350. Frankly I am not fond of other models.
Bullet is my best friend and a great stress buster. I prefer riding it at night after 12 and my usual ride is the Ring Road or the Delhi Cantt. area. The thump in the dead of the night gives me a high; a feel of nirvana.
Many guys argue that Bullet is nothing compared to heavy machines built by Harley Davidson. Well I have plenty of respect for the big daddy of motorcycles but I must say that Bullet is a thing which should not be compared. It has a class of its own and people who adore it wont find anything better in this world. I rented a Harley Davidson in Thailand for 3 hrs. It was a good ride but I badly missed my baby's thump.
A song dedicated to my baby :

And the road becomes my bride
I have stripped of all but pride
So in her I do confide
And she keeps me satisfied
Gives me all I need
And with dust in throat I crave
Only knowledge will I save To the game you stay a slave
Rove or wanderer Nomad, vagabond Call me what you will
But I'll take my time anywhere ;Free to speak my mind anywhere
And I'll redefine anywhere
Anywhere I roam ,Where I lay my head is home.
~ METALLICA


BULLET FOR LIFE :)

My Favourite quotes

I am such a lazy bum that i dont like reading thick books; even though I have deep interest in different philosophies. But,I do like reading different philosophers and their work in wikipedia.
Quotes always interests me, coz they are short and I can ponder over them lazily for hours. I am listing some of my favourite quotes. I hope you will ponder a bit too.

1) There's more to the truth than just the facts. ~Author Unknown.

2) The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer. ~Edward
Murrow.

3) A gun gives you the body, not the bird. ~Henry David Thoreau

4) By daily dying I have come to be. ~Theodore Roethke

5) You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. ~Navajo Proverb

6) When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you. ~Friedrich Nietzche

7) The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound
truth may well be another profound truth. ~Niels Bohr

8) It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. ~James Thurber

9) I am not a marxist ~ Karl Marx. (My favourite quote)

ECSTACY IN DECAY

Well, I have titled this writing "Ecstacy in Decay" . Actually its one of the songs of "Cannibal Corpse" . Some guys might think the reason for the name is that i get ecstacy in decay but its the other way round; my ecastacy is in continuous decay :)) .
I still remember when i was a kid I was a happy happy kid, but as I started growing up my head started getting full of hatred. When I started observing people and their motives I came to know that almost all of them are so mean and stupid that finding a good human being is a kind of privilege.
Let me define a bad human being:
1) Someone who doesnt do anything in case an accident happens on road. He just stands and stares and collect some story to narrate to his friend.
2) Someone who will blow Rs. 5000/- in a night club in one night and wont give Rs. 10/ to a charity for homeless children.
3) Someone who is the happiest person in this world in case a boy takes birth in his home and saddest in case of a girl.
4) Someone who takes dowry.
5) Someone who gives the utmost importance to the outer apperaence. Some guys can even lose their self respect in case they see a beautiful lady, even if she is the most useless and dumbest creature on planet earth. They forget their friends; even their moms and dads.
6) Someone who throws trash in public places and would say to his NRI friend that "India is fucking dirty man"
7) Someone who is a religious fanatic.
8) Someone who do not respect women.
9) Someone who is unkind to animals.
10) Someone who is overly materialistic and whose only purpose in life is money.

I am sure there are many other things that I hate but right now these are the only things that are coming to my head i.e. "grotesquehead". I dont know how good a human being I am. Infact, the term "good human being" itself is subjective; but for me, I am my own god so I believe mostly in my viewpoints and I try to act as I believe.